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Manners of Visiting a House

In our daily life, we visit houses of our relatives, friends and loved ones from time to time. So, we must know what the method of entering a house is in light of the blessed Sunnah. If we visit someone’s house, should we stand in front of the door or at a side? How do we ask permission to enter the house? If we are not granted permission to enter, what should we do? What are the blessings of reciting the Dua of exiting the house? What should be recited if no one is present in the house? There are various Sunan and manners with regards to entering a house and asking permission to enter a house etc. Let us discuss a few of them today:

  1. Give Salam when you enter or exit your house. The Beloved and Blessed Prophet صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَsaid: When you enter the house, give Salam to the residents of the house and when you leave, leave after giving Salam.

(Shu’ab-ul-Iman)

Hakim -ul- Ummat Mufti Ahmed Yar Khan Naeemi رَحْمَۃُ اللہِ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ writes on page 9 of Mir’at -ul- Manajih, Volume 9: Some pious people have been observed to follow this practice that when they would enter the house for the first time at the beginning of the day, they would recite Bismillah and Sura Ikhlas, as it keeps the family united and causes to increases sustenance.

  1. Whoever enters the house without invoking the name of Almighty Allah, Satan also enters the house alongside him. Hence, Sayyiduna Jabir رَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہُreports that the Noble Messenger صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَsaid:

إِذَا دَخَلَ الرَّجُلُ بَيْتَهُ فَذَكَرَ اللَّهَ عِنْدَ دُخُولِهِ وَعِنْدَ طَعَامِهِ قَالَ الشَّيْطَانُ لاَ مَبِيتَ لَكُمْ وَلاَ عَشَاءَ ‏.‏ وَإِذَا دَخَلَ فَلَمْ يَذْكُرِ اللَّهَ عِنْدَ دُخُولِهِ قَالَ الشَّيْطَانُ أَدْرَكْتُمُ الْمَبِيتَ ‏.‏ وَإِذَا لَمْ يَذْكُرِ اللَّهَ عِنْدَ طَعَامِهِ قَالَ أَدْرَكْتُمُ الْمَبِيتَ وَالْعَشَاءَ

“When a person enters his house and mentions the name of Allah at the time of entering it and while eating the food, Satan says: You have no place to spend the night and no meal; but when he enters without mentioning the name of Allah, the Satan says: You have found a place to spend the night, and when he does not mention the name of Allah while eating food, the Satan says: You have found a place to spend the night and a meal.”

(Sahih Muslim)

  1. The fortunate person who, when leaving his house, recites the Dua of exiting the house, he remains protected from all sorts of calamities until he gets back to his house. By the grace of Almighty Allah, there are countlessblessingsin following the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ. Sayyiduna Abu Hurairah رَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہُ narrates that the Beloved Prophet صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ said:

إِذَا خَرَجَ الرَّجُلُ مِنْ بَابِ بَيْتِهِ أَوْ مِنْ بَابِ دَارِهِ كَانَ مَعَهُ مَلَكَانِ مُوَكَّلاَنِ بِهِ فَإِذَا قَالَ بِسْمِ اللَّهِ ‏.‏ قَالاَ هُدِيتَ ‏.‏ وَإِذَا قَالَ لاَ حَوْلَ وَلاَ قُوَّةَ إِلاَّ بِاللَّهِ ‏.‏ قَالاَ وُقِيتَ ‏.‏ وَإِذَا قَالَ تَوَكَّلْتُ عَلَى اللَّهِ قَالاَ كُفِيتَ قَالَ فَيَلْقَاهُ قَرِينَاهُ فَيَقُولاَنِ مَاذَا تُرِيدَانِ مِنْ رَجُلٍ قَدْ هُدِيَ وَكُفِيَ وَوُقِيَ

“When a man goes out of the door of his house, there are two angels with him who are appointed over him. If he says بسم اللہ (in the Name of Allah) they say: ‘You have been guided.’ If he says لا حول ولا قوۃ الا باللہ (there is no power to refrain from sins and no strength to perform virtues except with Allah), they say: ‘You are protected.’ If hesays, توکلتُ علی اللہ (I have my trust in Allah), they say: ‘You have been taken care of.’ Then his two satans who have also been appointed over him, come to him and the two angels say: ‘What do you want with a man who has been guided to the right path, protected from all calamities and taken care of?”

(Sunan Ibn-e-Maja)

  1. When you visit someone’shouse, you must ask permission to enter before going inside the house. When you do enter, give Salam first and then start the conversation. Sayyiduna Abu Musa Ash’ari رَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہُreports that the Holy Prophet صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ said:

الاِسْتِئْذَانُ ثَلاَثٌ فَإِنْ أُذِنَ لَكَ وَإِلاَّ فَارْجِعْ

“Permission should be sought thrice. And if you are permitted then good, otherwise go back.”

(Sahih Muslim)

  1. The one who asks permission to enter the house without giving Salam first, should not be granted permission. Sayyiduna Jabir رَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہُreports that the Holy Prophet صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَsaid: Do not give permission to the one who does not open with Salam.

(Shu’ab-ul-Iman)

One of the factors behind the requirement of asking permission to enter a house is that the visitor must not have a clear view of the inside of the house. So, when a visitor gives Salam from the outside and asks permission, the host will be able to send the women to the other rooms and arrange for the guest to enter. Sayyiduna Sahl bin Sa’d رَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہُreports that the Holy Prophet صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ said:

إِنَّمَا جُعِلَ الإِذْنُ مِنْ أَجْلِ الْبَصَرِ

“Permission is required as a protection against glance.” (So that the secrets of the family and their private life are not exposed)

(Sahih Muslim)

  1. It is a Sunnah to ask permission before entering someone else’s house. The best way to ask permission is as follows: “السلام علیکم! May I come in?” Sayyiduna Rib’i bin Harashرَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہُstates that a man of Banu Amir said that he asked the Prophet صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَfor permission when he was in the house, saying: May I enter? The Prophet صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ said to his servant: Go out to this man and teach him how to ask permission to enter the house, and ask him to say: السلام علیکم May I enter? The man heard the command of the Holy Prophet صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ and said: السلام علیکم May I enter? The Prophet صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ permitted him and he entered.

(Sunan Abi Dawood)

  1. You should clear your throat or cough a little bit to make people aware of your presence, asSayyiduna Ali رَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہُstates that I had two times of visiting the Messenger of Allah صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ; at night and during the day. When I visited him at night, he صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ would clear his throat to let me know.

(Sunan Ibn -e- Maja)

Dear Islamic brothers! When we visit someone’s house and need to go to another room, we should clear our throat while passing through there to let other people in the house know that we are coming so that they could move aside.

  1. If there are no curtains on the door, then stand aside and not directly in front of the door. Sayyiduna Abdullah bin Bisr رَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہُreports that When theMessenger of Allahصَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ came to some people’s door, he did not face it squarely, but faced the right or left corner, and would say: السلام علیکم السلام علیکم, and that was because there were no curtains on the doors of the houses at that time.

(Sunan Abi Dawood)

  1. When someone visits someone else’s house and the person inside asks who it is, the visitor should not say, “It is me” or “I”, as people commonly do these days, instead he should say his name. The Holy Prophet صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَdid not like saying ‘I’ in reply. Sayyiduna Jabir رَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہُnarrates that I went to the court of the Holy Prophet صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ. When I knocked on the door, he asked, “Who is it?” I replied, “I” He said, “I, I?” He repeated it as if he disliked it.

(Sahih Bukhari)

  1. It is highly inappropriate to peek into someone else’s house. As Sayyiduna Anas رَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہُreports that that the Prophet صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَwas in his blessed house when a man looked in at him, so he thrusted his arrow-head towards him, so the man backed up.

(Jami Al-Tirmidhi)

  1. Do not criticize the arrangements and affairs of the house unnecessarily as it could hurt the host’s feelings. However, if you notice something impermissible, for example, if you see pictures of living things hanging on the wall etc. then politely explain it to them to take them off. Present a gift if you can even if it is not very expensive, as it will increase mutual love.
  2. If there is no valid excuse, always accept whatever is served to you to eat or drink. Do not frown even if you don’t like it as it will break the host’s heart.
  3. Make Dua in favor of the family members when departing and thank them.
  4. Depart after giving Salam.
  5. If there is no one in the house then say, “السلام علیک ایھا النبی”(Peace be upon you O Prophet!), for the soul of the Holy Prophet صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَis present in the house of the believers.

(Sharh Al-Shifa)

  1. When exiting the house, read the following Dua:

بسم اللہ توکلت علی اللہ، لاحول ولا قوۃ الا باللہ

“In the name of Allah, I place my trust in Allah, there is no power (to stay away from sins) and no strength (to do good deeds) except with Allah’s power.”

(Mishkat-ul-Masabih)

May Almighty Allah enable us to follow the Sunan and manners of going to our own house and visiting other people’s houses and may He عزوجل grant us the opportunity to visit His Sacred House again and again!

Manners and Etiquettes of Dua

The Holy Prophet صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ وآلہ وسلم has referred to Dua as the weapon of the believers. Dua is a great way to convey one’s requests to the court of Almighty Allah and it acts as a connection between the Creator and the creation. Similarly, Dua has certain requirements for it to be accepted that are known as the manners of Dua which must be kept in mind when making Dua in order to have a favorable result. It does not mean that Dua will not be answered if these conditions are not met. However, if these conditions are present, Dua will be more perfect and the likelihood of its acceptance will increase. On the contrary, if these conditions and manners are not adopted, then you should not expect it to be answered. However, if Almighty Allah shows mercy or it is the time of acceptance anyway, then the Dua may be accepted. The Holy Prophet صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ وآلہ وسلم said:

وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ لاَ يَسْتَجِيبُ دُعَاءً مِنْ قَلْبٍ غَافِلٍ لاَهٍ

“And know that Allah does not respond to supplication from a heart that is heedless and occupied by play.”

(Tirmidhi)

A few etiquettes of Dua are listed below:

(1) The heart must be cleansed of the thoughts of all else except Allah because the heart is a special place where the mercy and blessings of Almighty Allah descend as it has been stated in a blessed Hadith:

إِنَّ اللَّهَ لاَ يَنْظُرُ إِلَى أَجْسَادِكُمْ وَلاَ إِلَى صُوَرِكُمْ وَلَكِنْ يَنْظُرُ إِلَى قُلُوبِكُمْ

“Verily Allah does not look to your bodies nor to your faces but He looks to your hearts.”

(2) Make sure that your body, clothes and the spot where you are praying are neat and clean, because Almighty Allah is Nazif (clean) and He loves cleanliness.

(3) Perform a good deed before offering Dua. In this way, the blessings of the Merciful Lord will be focused on you. The recommended good deed in this regard is a hidden charity (Sadaqah), as it highly increases the chances of the acceptance of Dua.

(4) Pay those rights of the people that are due on you or seek their forgiveness and have them forgive you before offering Dua.

(5) Take extra precautions to refrain from Haram (prohibited) foods, drinks, clothing and earning because the Dua of the people who consume Haram and commit forbidden acts often go unanswered.

(6) Repent of all the previous sins before offering Dua because asking for a favor while being adamantly disobedient is a shameless act.

(7) While offering Dua, sit reverently on your knees in the state of Wudu with your face towards the Qiblah or stand on your knees or bow down in prostration with the intention of paying gratitude to Almighty Allah for enabling you to supplicate in His court, because a person is closest to Almighty Allah in the state of prostration, as the Holy Prophet صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ وآلہ وسلم said:

أقرب ما يكون العبد من ربه وهو ساجد، فأكثروا الدعاء‏

“The bondman becomes nearest to his Rab when he is in prostration. So increase supplications while prostrating.”

(8) Humility and humbleness should be expressed through your body and a proper presence of mind should also be there. Bani Israel complained to their Prophet that their prayers were not being answered. It was said in reply, “How can I accept their prayers, for their tongues pray but their hearts remain drawn towards others.”

(9) The gaze should be kept lowered or else, it is feared that the eyesight might go weak. Even though, this warning has been given in a Hadith for praying during Salah, but the scholars have explained that it is applicable to all situations.

(10) Praise Almighty Allah before and after Dua because doing Hamd (praise) pleases Almighty Allah and He showers countless blessings in return.

(11) Before and after Dua, send Durood upon the Noble Prophet صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ وآلہ وسلم, his companions and his sacred offspring because Durood is always accepted in the court of Almighty Allah and it cannot be expected from the merciful Lord that he accepts the beginning and the end and rejects the middle part i.e. Dua. Sayyiduna Umar رضی اللہ تعالیٰ عنہsaid:

إِنَّ الدُّعَاءَ مَوْقُوفٌ بَيْنَ السَّمَاءِ وَالأَرْضِ لاَ يَصْعَدُ مِنْهُ شَيْءٌ حَتَّى تُصَلِّيَ عَلَى نَبِيِّكَ صلى الله عليه وسلم

“Indeed the supplication stops between the heavens and the earth. Nothing of it is raised up until you send Durood upon your Prophet.”

(Tirmidhi)

(12) It is also recommended to put forward the following in the court of Almighty Allah as Wasilah (intermediary):

His blessed names and attributes, his books especially the Quran, angels, the Noble Messengers especially the best of all creation Sayyiduna Muhammad صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ وآلہ وسلمand His Auliya (friends) and chosen ones especially Sayyiduna Ghaus -e- Azam رضی اللہ تعالیٰ عنہم, because Dua is accepted by presenting the Wasilah of the people beloved to Almighty Allah.

Almighty Allah states in the Holy Quran:

وَابْتَغُوا إِلَيْهِ الْوَسِيلَةَ

“And seek the means towards Him”

(Maidah 5:35)

It is imperative to remember that when the Dua does get answered, one should pay thanks to Almighty Allah as it grants consistency to the favors of Almighty Allah and causes an increase in them. May Allah enable us to supplicate in His court in the manner which is the most beloved and the most preferred to him and accept all our legal permissible supplications by virtue of the prayers of the Noble Prophet صلی اللہ تعالیٰ علیہ وآلہ وسلم!

Important Rulings Concerning Salam

Our religion Islam teaches us to greet our Muslim brothers with Salam. The command of replying to the Salam has even been given in the Holy Quran. Giving Salam is also a great Sunnah of the Holy Prophet صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ. Today, we will discuss a few important rulings regarding Salam such as, when it is compulsory to reply to a Salam and when is it not, How to reply to Salam in a letter, Where to say Salam and where not to, etc.

 

  1. 1. Returning the Salam of the Absent

When someone conveys another person’s Salam to you, reply with “علیک وعلیہ السلام” which means “Peace be upon you and him!”. Sayyiduna Ghalib رَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہُ states that we were sitting by the door of Sayyiduna Hasan Basri رَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہُ. A man told us that my father sent me to the Holy Prophet صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَand asked me to convey his Salam in his blessed court. He further added, “I went to the court of the Noble Messenger صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَand humbly said, “O Master (صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ)! My father sends his Salam to you. The Holy Prophet صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَsaid, “علیک وعلی ابیک السلام” i.e. “Peace be upon you and your father!”

(Sunan Abi Dawood)

  1. 2. How should a Group Reply to Salam?

If some people are gathered somewhere and a new person comes and says “السَّلَامُ عَلَیْکُم”, the reply of one of them will suffice for the rest and if no one replies, then all will be considered sinful. If the person saying Salam addresses a specific person with his Salam or takes his name while saying Salam, then he will have to reply. It won’t be enough if someone else replies instead of him. Sayyiduna Ali کَرَّمَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی وَجْہَہُ الْکَرِیْم reports: When a passing person says Salam and one of the sitting people replies, it is enough on behalf of all of them.

 

  1. 3. Saying Salam to a Sleeping Person

Salam should not be given to the people who are sleeping. Instead, it should only be given to the people who are awake. Sayyiduna Miqdad رَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہُ reports that when the Holy Prophet صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَwould come at nighttime, he would say Salam. He صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَwould not wake the sleeping ones and would only say Salam to those were awake. Hence, one day, he صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَcame and said Salam in the manner that he used to.

(Sahih Muslim)

  1. 4. Saluting with Fingers or Palm

Salam should only be said through the tongue and not by gesturing with fingers or the palm. It is reported that the Noble Messenger صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ Said :

لَيْسَ مِنَّا مَنْ تَشَبَّهَ بِغَيْرِنَا لاَ تَشَبَّهُوا بِالْيَهُودِ وَلاَ بِالنَّصَارَى فَإِنَّ تَسْلِيمَ الْيَهُودِ الإِشَارَةُ بِالأَصَابِعِ وَتَسْلِيمَ النَّصَارَى الإِشَارَةُ بِالأَكُفِّ

“He is not one of us who resembles other than us. Do not resemble the Jews nor the Christians, for indeed greeting of the Jews is pointing the finger, and the greeting of the Christians is with the hand.”

(Tirmidhi)

If someone replies to the Salam with his tongue and then gestures with his fingers or his hand, then there is no issue.

  1. 5. Give Salam Loudly

Salam should be given in a loud voice so that the greeted person may hear it.

 

  1. 6. Reply Instantly

It is compulsory to reply to the Salam instantly. If the reply is delayed without a valid reason, then it is a sin and it will not be forgiven only by replying, instead, repentance will also have to be made.

 

  1. 7. Reply Loudly

Reply should also be given in such a loud voice that the person saying Salam is able to hear it.

 

  1. 8. Giving Salam to a non-Muslim

Do not give Salam to a non-Muslim. If he says Salam to you, then it is not compulsory for you to reply to him. Just reply with “وعلیکم”.

 

  1. 9. Bowing for Salam

It is Haram (forbidden) to bow down to the extent of Ruku (Bowing down so much that one can touch his knees with his hands) while giving Salam. It is disliked (Makruh) if he bows less than that. Unfortunately, people nowadays usually bow down while giving Salam. However, there is no issue in kissing the hands of a pious person, in fact, it is reward-giving and it is not possible without bowing down. Here, it is necessary, whereas there is no need while giving Salam.



  1. 10. Returning the Salam of a Woman

Reply to old women may be given loudly, but if a young woman gives Salam, it should be replied in such a low voice that she does not hear it. However, it must be audible to the person replying.

 

  1. 11. Replying to a Written Salam

Sometimes, Salam is given in a letter, replying to it is also compulsory. It can be done in two ways: Firstly, he should reply with his tongue and secondly, write it back in the letter. However, since it is necessary to reply to Salam instantly and replying to a letter requires a little bit of time, so he should instantly reply with his tongue. When Sayyidi A’la Hazrat رَحْمَۃُ اللہِ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ would read a letter and السلام علیکم was written in it, he would first reply to the Salam with his tongue and then, would continue reading the letter.

 

  1. 12. Conveying Someone Else’s Salam

If someone asks you to convey his Salam to someone else, you should not reply to it right there as this reply holds no meaning. Instead, the person who has been given the Salam, you should say to him that so and so has given Salam to you.

 

  1. 13. Do Not Give Salam to These

When you enter a Masjid and the Islamic brothers are busy in reciting the Holy Quran, doing Zikr, reciting Durood (Salawaat) or sitting in wait for Salah, then do not give Salam to them. This is not the time of giving Salam and nor is it compulsory for them to reply. Also, do not give Salam to people who are studying, having an academic discussion or revising their lessons. In addition, do not give Salam to someone who is (1) in the toilet, (2) taking a shower without clothes on, (3) singing a song, (4) flying pigeons or (5) eating. Do not give Salam to any of these people. Even if someone says Salam to these people, replying to it is not compulsory for them.

May Allah enable us to remember and act upon these rulings of Shariah regarding Salam and grant us the benefits of Salam in this world and the hereafter!

Manners of Talking

Talking to people is a part and parcel of our daily life and a basic necessity. In fact, we keep running our mouths unnecessarily as well despite the fact that talking unnecessarily can prove to be quite detrimental. It is better to remain silent than talking uselessly. Hence, today, we will learn a little bit about the practice of the Holy Prophet صَلَّی اللّٰہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّم with regards to speaking, manners of speaking and the excellence of remaining quiet:

  1. The Beloved Prophetصَلَّی اللّٰہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمused to speak steadily in such a beautiful way that the listener would easily memorize his words. Hence, the mother of all believers Sayyidatuna Aisha Siddiqa رَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہَا states that the Noble Messenger صَلَّی اللّٰہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّم would speak so clearly and distinguishably that every listener would memorize it.

(Musnad Imam Ahmed bin Hanbal)

  1. Talk to people politely with a smile on your face. Speak in a compassionate tone with the young and in a respectful tone with the elders. If Allah wills, you will be respected by both.
  2. Talking loudly and yelling as friends do in gatherings these days is inappropriate and poor etiquette.
  3. High-fiving each other while having a conversation is also inappropriate since clapping and whistling are merely forms of amusement and diversion and a practice of the disbelievers.

(Tafsir -e- Naeemi)

  1. Do not pick your nose or scratch the inside of your ears with your finger or spit in front of someone when you are talking to them as this is also inappropriate and the other person finds it gross.
  2. Listen calmly when someone is talking. Never interrupt anyone and let them finish before you start talking.
  3. If someone has a stutter in his speech, do not imitate or mimic him to ridicule him as it might hurt his feelings.
  4. Never laugh out loud or chortle while having a conversation as the Noble Messengerصَلَّی اللّٰہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمnever laughed out loud.

(Mir’at -ul- Manajih)

A person loses his grace and elegance by talking excessively and laughing constantly.

  1. The Holy Prophetصَلَّی اللّٰہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمsaid:

إِذَا رَأَيْتُمُ الرَّجُلَ قَدْ أُعْطِيَ زُهْدًا فِي الدُّنْيَا وَقِلَّةَ مَنْطِقٍ فَاقْتَرِبُوا مِنْهُ فَإِنَّهُ يُلَقَّى الْحِكْمَةَ

“If you see a man who has been given indifference with regard to this world and who speaks little, then draw close to him for wisdom descends upon him.”

(Sunan Ibn -e- Maja)

Another blessed Hadith states:

مَنْ صَمَتَ نَجَا

“Whoever remains silent has been saved.”

(Jami Al-Tirmidhi)

  1. There should always be a proper reason for talking to someone and always talk according to the mentality, intellect and level of understanding of the listener. There is an Arabic saying that:

کلِّموا الناسَ علٰی قدرِ عُقولِھم

“Talk to people as per their intellect.”

It means that such things should not be said which are beyond their understanding. Words should also be clear, simple and easily understandable. Difficult words should not be used as it will only serve to convince them of your eloquence and academic prowess, but they will not understand a word of the actual message you were trying to convey.

  1. Always control your tongue from speaking evil. Sayyiduna Uqba bin Aamirرَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہreports:

قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَا النَّجَاةُ قَالَ ‏أَمْسِكْ عَلَيْكَ لِسَانَكَ وَلْيَسَعْكَ بَيْتُكَ وَابْكِ عَلَى خَطِيئَتِكَ

“I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah! What is salvation?’ He said: That you control your tongue, suffice yourself your house, and cry over your sins.”

  1. If we use our tongue in the right manner, the whole body will reap its benefits and if the tongue slips and swears at someone for example, the tongue may not be harmed but other body parts may have to suffer a beating. Sayyiduna Abu Saeed Khudriرَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہnarrates that the Holy Prophet صَلَّی اللّٰہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّم said:

إِذَا أَصْبَحَ ابْنُ آدَمَ فَإِنَّ الأَعْضَاءَ كُلَّهَا تُكَفِّرُ اللِّسَانَ فَتَقُولُ اتَّقِ اللَّهَ فِينَا فَإِنَّمَا نَحْنُ بِكَ فَإِنِ اسْتَقَمْتَ اسْتَقَمْنَا وَإِنِ اعْوَجَجْتَ اعْوَجَجْنَا

“When the son of Adam wakes up in the morning, all of his body parts bow to the tongue and say: Fear Allah regarding us, for we are part of you. If you are straight we are straight and if you are crooked we are crooked.”

(Jami Al-Tirmidhi)

  1. Constantly joking around and roasting each other may cost you your friendship. SayyidunaUmar bin Abdul Azizرَضِیَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَنْہ says: Do not joke around and ridicule each other as it gives way to hatred and the foundation of bad deeds is thereby established in the heart.

(Kimia -e- Sa’adat)

  1. Always refrain from badmouthing and talking immodestly. Avoid swearing and remember that it is Haram (forbidden) to swear at your brother.(Fatawa Ridawiyyah).And those who talk immodestly will be forbidden to enter Paradise. The Beloved and Blessed Prophet صَلَّی اللّٰہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّم said: Paradise is forbidden for the one who talks shamelessly and immorally.

(Kimia -e- Sa’adat)

May the Most Merciful Allah Almighty enable us to follow the Sunan and manners of speaking and grant us the ability to enjoin good and forbid evil and to spread the call towards righteousness!